what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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