He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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