I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
