When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize