So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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