I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
