Your face is a jimmy john
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
