he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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