Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
