yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
