I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just had sex bonerless
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
