wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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