Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize