Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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