I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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