So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize