Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
