i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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