Michael Bay diarrhea
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
