He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
