Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
