One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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