sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
