47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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