is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
