i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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