I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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