it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
