He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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