Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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