I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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