The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
