saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
