wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
50% drunk capacity currently
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
