I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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