Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
