I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
