Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
