Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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