Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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