My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize