imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
