totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
