if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
