i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Enjoy the penises
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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