those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
