I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
