im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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