i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
