If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
