That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
