too bad you live with your parents still
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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