Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize