Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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