We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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