it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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