Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
