We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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