Umm I'm too high to move.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize