If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
