Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
