No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
